No, No, NO! -Stewardship Part 1

The first word most babies learn is “No”. We start telling them no pretty much as soon as they become mobile. 

“No, no! Don’t hit, Sis.”

“No, no! Don’t touch the stove!”

“No, no! Don’t eat the doggie food!”

And so it goes. No to this, no to that. Pretty soon, those little tots are waddling around chanting, “No, no, no…”

Why do we say no so much? Because we love our babies and want to make sure they are safe and not hurting themselves, and of course not doing disgusting things like eating puppy food...or poop...it happens...so I've heard... 

However, we do not extend this same kindness to ourselves. When we need to say no for our own benefit, we often fail. I don’t know if this just a problem for women, but it seems that just about every woman I talk to says she’s busy. She’s overwhelmed with things that she’s committed to but doesn’t feel like she can set any of them down. The usual response to, “How are you?” Is “Busy.” 

Why is that, do you think? Why are we all so busy all the time?

I think there are two main reasons. I'm going to present the first one now, and the second will be coming soon in a following post, along with ways we may need to practice saying no. 

The first reason for our inability to say no is fear. Fear drives us to fill up our life with busy work. Our fear of what people will think if we tell them no keeps us enslaved to a schedule that is harming us instead of helping us. We may find that we are sacrificing our gift of time on the altar of approval. Yikes...

It’s no secret that we live in a culture and time of history that is busier than ever. When modern conveniences were just coming on the market, the intent was that they would save us time so we could live more leisurely lives. Washing machines were meant to save us time by washing the clothes for us. So it is with the dish washer, microwave, pre-packaged food and hundreds of other little gadgets and gismos that now come standard with the American life. But…we don’t always make the best use of all this time we are supposedly saving. Instead, we fill up our time with busy to the point that we often don’t have time to be with the people we are doing all of this extra stuff for. Families are spending more hours away from each other then ever before, and mom's with teenagers have told me it only gets worse as they get older...gulp! Everyone has their own schedule to keep and mom is usually the one that organizes it all. And that’s a serious juggling act. Some moms’ skill at organizing schedules are an absolute work of art with color-coded calendars and everything. It’s truly beautiful. I’m not that mom. I’m the mom who suddenly realizes she forgot that today is the day for that birthday party that she never RSVP’d to and is hunting under the fridge in hopes that the invitation she can’t find is under there somewhere. But my lack of organization isn’t really the point here…ahem.

When we lack the courage to say no, even to people we love, we sometimes end up hurting ourselves. 

But the greatest tragedy is the damage it does to our ability to steward what God has entrusted to us. We are responsible for how we utilize all the resources and gifts God has given us, and that includes our time. When we say yes to everything that comes along, we are left with little time to say yes to the work God has for us to do. Sometimes we have to say no, even to things that are good, so that we can say yes to the work God has purposed us to do. This is hard, and I admittedly am not an expert at this. But I truly want to get better at it. I know that a yes to another event means a no to time with my family, to work that I know God has told me to do, or to much needed rest that will help me to keep serving others. I have to consider seriously if that's a trade I'm willing to make. I have to ask myself, "Is the return on this investment worth it?" I rarely regret the time I spend with my family and our mission in this world together. I never regret time spent with others for the purpose of God's kingdom and the joy of friendship. The return on that investment has eternal dividends! But there have been many times I have regretted committing to other activities out of fear or obligation. The return on those investments is usually very small or none at all.

Take a minute to read through Matthew 25:14-29. We find a parable here that Jesus told about three servants who were entrusted with talents. You’ve most likely heard this story before, but please don’t skip through and miss it. 

The two men who took the talents they were entrusted with, invested them, and were commended by their master. The one who didn’t…well the master said some not nice things to him and then took his talent and gave it the first guy. 

The point of this story is that God is like the master who has entrusted us with resources like money, abilities, spiritual gifts, and yes, time. How we use these resources for his kingdom greatly affect God’s willingness to entrust us with more. We are the same way as parents, right? When I need a job done, I’m not going to ask the kid that I know will do a sloppy, half-hearted job (sometimes I will for practice sake) but usually I will go to the kid that has proven to me that she will take care of business and get it done. I'm willing to trust her with more because she's proven she will be faithful with it. I don’t want to be the sloppy kid. I want to be trustworthy.

When we lack the courage to say no, we are like the servant who said he was fearful and hid the talents. Fear produces apathy. It is easier to say yes to the things others are pressuring us to do and be apathetic in our obedience to God. It takes a lot of courage to say yes to God’s thing! It takes hard work and perseverance. Sometimes it even means disappointing people you care about and hold in high esteem. I don’t like that. I don’t like not being liked. Michael Scott and I kind of have that in common. But, if that person really cares about you, they will be more understanding of your no. If they love you, they will want what’s best for you. It might even give them the courage to say no to some things, too. 

We cannot risk being foolish stewards. The ramifications of foolish stewardship are a little daunting (I believe the phrase “gnashing of teeth” is used in this passage). So this seems like a pretty serious lesson for us to learn.

My prayer for us today, is that we would not be enslaved to the fear of other’s expectations. I pray that we will have the courage and wisdom to say no to the unnecessary things so that we can say yes to the things of God. May we be trustworthy with all the gifts and resources God has put in our hands so that we may glorify him and live out the purposes and plans he has for us while we still have the time to do it! 

His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’  Matt. 25:23

Peanut Butter And the Gospel

Peanut butter. Cheese. Bread. Tacos. Chocolate. Wine. What do these things have in common? They are delicious. I adore them. I’m cutting them out of my diet for a few weeks. Hello, 2018! I welcome you by being hungry and cranky. But, I deserve to be a hungry crank. After all, if you look at my eating habits over 2017 it was a bit shameful. There were those numerous boxes of candy hearts in February, chocolate eggs and peeps at Easter, more chocolate for Mother’s Day, the endless hot dogs and cherry pie in July, the Halloween candy that is still showing up in random corners of the house somehow, then we look up and here comes Thanksgiving and the six weeks of feasting that follow. That doesn’t even mention the weekend holidays in between, the birthday’s, anniversaries, special occasions or the flat-out-can't-blame-a-holiday-I'm-just-craving-it-all junk food and taco binging sprinkled throughout. Oh, and don't forget all the donuts! Wait...doughnuts? Either way...yum.

So here we all sit (like how I just switched the tone from personal to collective? Misery loves company!) at our computers or on our devices, gloomily doing our penance during the month of January, feeling a little more holy and a lot more hangry. 

Honestly though, I love January 1. There is something about the New Year that has always been exciting to me. It’s not so much about welcoming in the New Year at midnight (because in addition to eating, I also really like to sleep) it’s more about the new beginning of it all. 

There is a deeply spiritual aspect of the new year beginning that makes me feel so hopeful. A new start sounds like something my soul desperately needs. I really believe God, in his wisdom, knew that we needed rhythms and seasons of new beginnings and fresh starts. He knew we needed to have a do-over kind of feeling often... like - everyday. That is how I feel on January 1 every year. 

As we are all cleaning out our closets and refrigerators, rearranging furniture and finances, jogging and doing yoga, and all the other New Year-sy type things, let's remember that, while new behaviors feel nice, it is our hearts that need a new start the most. These new behaviors that we are trying to discipline ourselves into may fade by the end of the month…or the end of this sentence… because our problem is never really about our behavior.

It is always about our heart. 

Our problem is not when we eat too much, it is when food consumes our thoughts more than anything else. The problem is not when we drink too much, it is when we put our hope in alcohol and it’s effects. The problem is not when our spending is out of control, it is when we believe money will finally give us what we really want. Every addiction starts in the heart. Where our treasure is, there our heart will be also (Matthew 6:21). We don’t just need new behaviors. We need a new heart. Without a new heart, we are the same old sinful person who is just temporarily motivated to behave better than usual for awhile. If we trust in improved behavior to change our lives for the better, we will find ourselves once again making plans to change the same old habits next January 1. 

We can’t behave. That’s why Jesus came and behaved in our place…because we can’t do it. I know such positive motivation…I warned you - I’m hangry.

So as we make our plans and implement changes to our lifestyle for this new year, let’s pause and consider where our hearts are. Are we wanting to make these changes because there is something fundamentally wrong and we are hoping that this new behavior will be the savior we need? If so, then we will be disappointed in the results. Even the most disciplined of us will fail to keep resolutions at some point this year. And even if we managed to keep our resolutions faithfully all year, without the transformation Jesus gives, we would find that we are still broken.

What if instead of trusting in good behavior to save us, we saw our behaviors as a chance to be better stewards for the glory of the one who has already saved us. What if instead of exercising and eating healthier simply so we can look and feel better, we consistently took care of our bodies so that we could have the energy and strength to serve and worship God and help others? What if instead of restructuring our budgets so that we can gain wealth for our own comfort and desires, we managed our money better so that we could be more generous to those in need? What if we saw our lives not as something to be lived for our own pleasure, but rather a gift from God, a resource to be used for his purpose and glory? How would that change you this year? Would you live differently?

This is how the gospel changes us. When we realize we are living in light of Jesus’ redemptive work, we no longer strive to change our behaviors so that we can have a better life now. Rather, we change our behaviors because God has already gifted us with the best life that is free from the oppression of addictions and sin. We can freely choose to live this right-now-life he’s given us for his glory and purpose! Our behavior becomes worshipful instead of shameful.

My prayer for you and me today is that we will live from a place of grace and love, not from a place of shame and self-loathing. I pray that we will love Jesus more than we love our sins and addictions. I pray that we will be kind to ourselves in the midst of our failures so that we will know how to be kind to others when they fail. I pray that we will avoid the pride that comes from successful behavior done in our own strength, and give thanks to God that he did all the work that was necessary to save us. I pray that we will run this race faithfully, receive and give the gospel daily, and press in to the new life God has gifted us. 

I also pray that we never run out of peanut butter…

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8 (take time to read the whole chapter and be encouraged!)

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.   1 Corinthians 10:31

So Small and Sweet

Here we all are again. One more full day until Christmas. Company is coming. Food is getting prepped. Rooms are getting cleaned. Laundry is being done or ignored - which is perfectly fine, btw. 

At our house today, cookies and banana bread were made and socks for stocking stuffers were bought. Lots and lots of little things have been done, with lots still left to do. And I have a tendency to always question why. Why are there so many little things? Couldn't we do without the little things? What happens if we don't do the little things?

Then today, one of the little things caused me to stop and consider. We were in the middle of cutting out cookies and I leaned over my youngest to help her and I noticed how little her hands still are. Dimpled and still so babyish that I quickly grabbed my phone to snap a pic. Tears stung my eyes as I realized that those little hands will most likely not be dimpled and so small next year at this time. Her fifth birthday is sneaking up on us and childhood moves at lightening speed after that. This is the last year to make Christmas cookies with such a little one. And that's when I remembered why I always push to do the little things. It's because the little things always point me to the bigger picture.

It was a little one that came to this earth, with tiny hands and feet, to take away my sin. There was no big to-do when he showed up. In fact, everyone was pretty busy with lots of other things. Yet, quiet and small he entered into our world to do what no one else could. And it was he who reminded the disciples, with their big, important agendas, that we must all be like the little ones if we are to enter his kingdom - small, excited to be with him, and completely dependent on the Father.

And then I think of his mother, Mary, who day in and out did hundreds of little things, as all mamas do, to nurture and raise this little one into the man that would change the world. May we all be so faithful in the little things God has placed in our hands to do, trusting that he will do more with our obedience than we could ever dream. 

My little moment today reminded me that all of these little moments with my daughters are adding up to a childhood that points them to Jesus. It is in the small, quiet moments that we are most often able to demonstrate God's love to them. It is in the small ways that we help our children do the things they can't and clean up the messes they make, that we teach them of God's grace and forgiveness.

But I am so very flawed and often miss opportunities to speak humbly and quietly to my babies. I struggle with being busy and stressed. In order to see the small things, we must move slowly. Christmas time is usually everything but small and slow. It is big, flashy, expensive and moves at break-neck speed. So, I'd like to invite you sweet mamas to join me in slowing down for a moment. Even if it's just for 5 minutes, I invite you to sit quietly, forget the to do list, forget the gifts that still need to be wrapped, forget the food and the programs, and the company that may even now be headed to your house. For just a moment, be grateful for the small things that have introduced you into a life of grace and forgiveness. Think for a moment about how the gospel has shown up in your life this year as you have been caring for and nurturing your babies. Revel in the sweetness of the little things in your life that remind you of the big love of God. 

And then rejoice...

And Mary said, "My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior...for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation."   Luke 1:46-50

Merry Christmas, Friends!