Mother's Everywhere

My friend’s face lit up and she threw her head back as laughter spilled out. Her sweet baby girl clapped her hands and bounced around gleefully as the van bumped down a partially paved road. I smiled and chuckled to myself as I considered again how strange it was to be riding in a car with a toddler who was not in a carseat. She sat snuggly on her momma’s lap reaching up occasionally to smoosh her momma’s cheeks between her dimpled hands. 

We had been in Belize City for half a day driving from one place to another and I had just met my new friend and her beautiful family. Before the day was done, I would be completely humbled by this family’s generosity as they gave up their own bedroom to accommodate us, serve us dinner after a long day of work, and offer all they possibly could to ensure we were comfortable while we were visiting. I’d been informed that this generous couple lived in one of the poorest neighborhoods and worked daily to welcome youth and children into their community center, which was also their home, where they tutored them in various studies and skills and took every opportunity to present the Gospel to those overlooked little ones in their city. I was fascinated.

As we bounced along, I thought about how our lives were so different, yet marveled at all that this Belizian momma and I had in common. I listened as she talked in Creole accented English about the guilt she was wrestling with over going to work and having to leave her baby girl with someone else. I heard her voice tremble and watched her eyes water as she held her daughter close. Yes, it's true. Mothers everywhere wrestle with guilt. It is the guilt that plagues our best intentions. I recognized the anxiousness in her heart, as it resides in mine also. 

It reminded me of another conversation I’d had the previous year with another young mother. Similarly, we were bouncing down a dirt road, this time in Haiti. This lovely Haitian momma held her two-year-old son in her lap and asked me questions about schooling. She wasn’t sure if she should put her little girl in the local school or homeschool. As we clung to the handles on the car door I shared what bit of limited knowledge I had from my own homeschooling experience, thinking all the while “We mommas are all so alike.” We all want what’s best and can’t stop asking what the best thing really is. We worry, we wonder, we wrestle and we hold our babies close and whisper prayers over them. 

One of the things I love about traveling to other parts of the world is that it comforts my heart and encourages me to keep my head down and my feet moving forward. It reminds me of three things and I want to share these things with you in hopes that your heart will also be comforted and your feet will keep moving you forward. 

First, we all need to take a deep breath and chill. When I see how other children in the world are growing up, I’m always reminded that I need to chill out. Seeing children growing, playing, and thriving, without the things I think my kids need, like grass-fed organic milk, organized sports and educational media, reminds me that we mamas can over-complicate raising children sometimes. As we pack our diaper bags for playdates with every possible item our kid could need in the next three hours, let’s remember to take a breath, be grateful, and let go of our mama-bear anxiety. Our kids are doing well and would probably do a bit better if we all backed off and let them play in the dirt a little more…without using hand-sanitizer afterwards even…you are doing a good job, Momma. Relax. Breathe. Give thanks. 

Second, I’m reminded that motherhood is sacred. Jesus spoke about his love for his people as one who has the heart of a mother in Matthew 23:37. He longs to gather his people under his wings as a hen gathers her chicks. What a sweet picture of the love of Christ. He shows his love here in a nurturing and protective way. The work we are doing as mothers is one of the most basic and necessary work that can be done in this world. Every person needs to know that they are loved, wanted, and have a safe place to be restored and encouraged. Ultimately, they need to know they are loved by God, but they will only know his love when they experience it in the flesh. The first loving human relationship a baby has is with his mother. And this relationship is so powerful, studies have shown that babies who are in the womb know when they are unwanted by their mothers. The trauma of being unloved and neglected is something that can affect them from birth. Many who are walking around wounded and neglected simply need someone to share Jesus’ love with them as a mother would for her own children. They need the kind heart of a momma who can nurture them and show them that they are loved, wanted, cared for and precious. This is what Momma does, and no one can do it like she can. Furthermore, it is the true religion of the people of God to care for orphans. I believe that includes those who are abandoned physically, sure, but also includes those who are abandoned emotionally and spiritually. And I don’t believe that only those who have given birth to biological children are called to be mothers. One of the most effective and influential mothers in the world never had any biological children of her own, yet she mothered thousands with a heart full of love and actions guided by God’s grace. Mother Teresa’s life of motherhood was indeed sacred, deeply needed, and one of the most stunning reflections of Jesus’ love for this world.  

The third and final thought I will share here is simply this. While motherhood is sacred, it is not exclusive. As I’ve talked with and watched other mothers in other cultures take care of their babies, I am always surprised that it feels like home. Though I’m in a foreign environment and miss my babies when I’m away, I don’t feel so far away from home as I spend time with these mommas. I see these women working hard to feed their tribe, get them bathed and in bed and I think, “Huh…so their kids fight them on this, too.” Turns out, toddlers are pretty much the same wherever you go. I have seen how toddlers in Haiti and Hong Kong, as well as Belize and Berlin, are all fighting for independence, trying to eat things off the floor they shouldn’t, throwing fits one minute and charming you with dimpled smiles the next. It’s comforting when their mothers also sigh deep breaths of weariness and smile apologetically at me with a shrug that is the universal statement for, “Toddlers…you know how it is.” I think this same shrug translates to the teenage years as well…

These encounters remind me that I am not alone as I mother my children. It also reminds me that I need the community of other mothers to encourage me to keep going. Yet how often do we seek community? Too often we assume that no one understands what our life is like. It is easy to feel alone in our houses next to neighbors we never talk to. I often wonder how many moms are sitting at home thinking that no one cares or understands the struggle, the weariness, the fear, the love for this tiny human that threatens to break your heart. I know I’ve done it. Loneliness is one of the most common ailments for moms, especially when she has little ones, and more specifically in American culture. Our obsession with technology and progress has created an environment that cultivates complete isolation. In many other cultures,  people are highly social - physically, not just technically. They walk down roads together as they grocery shop or take kids to school. They stop and chat with friends, neighbors and relations as they pass by their houses. They spend hours sharing meals, letting household tasks wait until the more important work of relationship is finished for the day. This is not only beautiful, it is Biblical. God did not intend us to do life alone. We need each other. We need to make time for real face-to-face conversations about everything from potty-training to our deep need for Jesus and a nap. And as our babies grow taller and enter the busy, schedule-packed years of adolescence, it becomes harder to have time for meaningful relationships with others, yet our need for it remains the same. 

My prayer for you and me today is that we would not neglect the sacred call of motherhood in our world. I pray that we would have the courage to offer the gift of motherhood to those around our own table, and those who have none of their own. May we offer Christ to all that need to know the love of their Heavenly Father. May we have hearts overflowing with love and actions brimming with His grace so that the ones that are unwanted and forgotten will no longer be. May we repent of trying to go it alone and embrace the friendships of the women that surround us, whether they be living next door, or on the other side of the world. And through all these things, may the Jesus that we’ve encountered do the work that only he can do in us and through us.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints  what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:14-21

Now What? - Stewardship Part 3

My daughter sat entranced, staring at the computer screen, carefully copying the image onto her paper with a crayon. I beamed with pride thinking, “This child is brilliant”. She was 4-years-old and obsessed with learning about skeletons, so I had pulled up a human skeletal system chart on the computer, and she was carefully drawing her own version and trying to copy down the words “metacarpal” and “scapula”. I was just so sure that she was on her way to becoming a brilliant doctor who would change the world by discovering the cure for some impossible to cure disease, or a skilled surgeon saving lives everyday. She has since lost her love of the human skeletal system (it actually really grosses her out now) and replaced it with a love for horses and drawing. 

I can't help sometimes but to fantasize about each of my daughters' potential for the future. I think we moms do this from the very beginning. We watch them as they grow each year and learn new skills thinking, “He’s got a good arm for a 2-year-old! Look out NFL! Here comes my boy!” or, “Listen to her sing! She’s going to be famous for sure.”

As we dream of who they will become, we sometimes accidentally, “live vicariously” through our children. We remember what it was like to be young and have our whole lives ahead of us, and now, as we look around, we realize - this is it. This is our life and what we are doing with it. These people, this job, this house, this way of doing life. This is it. For some of you, that thought brings deep joy and satisfaction. For others, you may be shaking your head and wondering what happened to all of your plans and dreams.  

We have all celebrated another Easter Sunday with all of it's pastel-colored traditions and ceremonies. In many ways, I always find myself looking around on Easter Sunday night saying, "Now what?" After hearing a passionate discourse on the marvelous work and resurrection of Jesus, I kind of feel a let-down. Like, are we really supposed to go back to normal life after all we have witnessed today? I'm wondering if the disciples felt this way after Jesus ascended. Did they too look at each other and ask, "Now what?"

In this final post on stewardship, I want to talk to you, my Friend, about stewarding your gifts and calling. “What gifts and calling?” You may be asking. Oh, you have both, Dear One. It might be hiding underneath the piles of laundry and the mountains of dirty diapers-but it is there. Perhaps your first thought when someone mentions your gifts is, “Oh, I don’t have any gifts, I just __________________” Fill in the blank with whatever it is you are doing that you think is not so impressive. Many of us falsely believe that we don’t have skills, abilities or a calling in this world that has any significance. 

But, the Bible tells a different story than the false one we believe about ourselves. Let’s look at what it says:

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.   Ephesians 2:10

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.   Acts 1:8

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.      Matthew 25:19-20

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior; not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.     Titus 2:3-5

Whew! I don’t think we really understand how much work those few verses gives us to do, or how wonderful it is to be called to do this work. Let’s take a closer look at what all these verses entail. 

First, we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works. What does that mean exactly? Well, the word workmanship means “the art or skill of a workman: the product or result of labor and skill; the quality of a thing made”. So when the Bible talks about being God’s workmanship, it means we are his work of art. What is the job of art? It is created to express a truth about the artist and to draw attention to what it is the artist wants to communicate. So as God’s work of art, what are we created to do? Express truth about  who God is to those around us and draw their attention to the message he is communicating. That takes a lot of work. It means we have to slow down our busy lives and pay attention to people. We must have their ear if we are going to express truth about God and communicate his message. To get someone’s attention it usually helps to listen to them first. That takes time, which is why stewarding our time is so very important. If we don’t have time for people, then we will miss opportunities to express God to them.

We are created in Christ Jesus to do good works. What does that entail? Through Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection, we are new creations. The old has passed away. Therefore, we are created in Him now able to do good things in our new nature that we were unable to do in our old sinful state. This has been God’s plan since the beginning. God prepared good works for us to do and then provided the forgiveness, grace and sanctification we needed in order to be able to do those good works. We get this backwards often. We sometimes think the good works are what bring forgiveness, but that’s the wrong order. The forgiveness of sin brings the desire to do the good work prepared for us. I’m so glad I have good work to do! I couldn’t be excited about it had God not first saved me through Jesus’ good work. Good works is one way we worship. 

The next few verses tell us that we are to be witnesses of Christ to the world. This is the greatest work that every believer has to do. And it begins in Jerusalem. What does that mean? Do we need to all hop on a plane to the Holy Land? No. It means we start our work at home. Our family is who we first witness to. This is wonderful! We are already in place to fulfill the first part of the Great Commission to our own sweet babies. We are to express the truth of who God is and what he has done through Jesus to our family as we serve them, meet their physical needs for food, clothing and affection. Then, we bear witness to our community (Judea) meeting the needs of our neighbors and co-workers. Then to those we would never associate with (Samaria). These are those around us that we don’t necessarily rub elbows with if we can help it. Maybe it is the poor, homeless, orphans, those who are vulnerable to being exploited , or are marginalized because of their ethnicity, economic status, or beliefs. Yes, we are called to serve and love all people groups. Then we go to the ends of the earth. Maybe that does involve hopping on a plane and heading to a foreign country. Maybe that involves giving money or raising support for those that are already there. 

Then, there is a whole verse about older women teaching younger women some stuff. I have a head start on this because God dropped four little women into my lap as daughters to teach and raise into mature women. It’s easier to read that verse and think, “Oh, there should be an older woman somewhere willing to teach me.” Yes. There should be. And there is also a younger woman who needs you to teach her. Find both of those women. Be discipled and make a disciple.

Wow. That’s a lot of people and a lot of work. We are not going to get it all done if we do not learn to be good stewards of our resources. That means we must steward our time, money, energy and gifts carefully. We cannot waste it on self-indulgence and sin. What does this look like for the stay-at-home mom, or the part-time working mom, or the full-time teaching mom, or the single mom working two jobs, or the mom who has it all figured out, or the mom who can’t find her car keys let alone her purpose in life?

It looks like this. 

We show up. We show up in our kids’ lives with the love of God filling our hearts and grace filling our words. We show up when we have an abundance of energy and when we are crawling under the weight of depression and exhaustion. We show up when we know what we are doing and when we don't have a clue-trusting God with what we don't know. 

We don’t show up because we are tough mother’s who are gutting it out. We show up because “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). We show up because we are his workmanship, his art, his chosen messenger of hope in a world that is quickly self-destructing. We show up because people who are not our biological children need a mother-figure to step in and share God's love as only a mother can. It’s not because we have it all figured out, or because we somehow have managed to be untouched by sin. It is because God has it figured out, and Jesus saved us when we were drowning in our own sin and selfishness. This is why we show up for our families, our communities, our neighbors and our world-because Jesus showed up and fulfilled his mission all the way to the cross and the resurrection! "Now what?" we may ask. Now, he has called us to be on mission with him, and the same spirit that raised him from the dead lives inside of you and me (Romans 8:11)- that blows my mind! 

The everyday mundane of paying bills, getting kids to school on time, finding everyone's missing socks and so many other things can suck the energy out of a soul quick. But, I see the hand of God at work, taking typical, ordinary life and making it into something new and beautiful. It makes my heart beat faster, and my eyes burn with tears of joy. I can see the Spirit of God, weaving his way through the small moments of life, faithfully moving us towards himself and calling us to worship him with our whole selves. We are no longer buried by the ordinary work of this life, but rather we are transformed by the extraordinary work of Christ. We are his. Completely. Wholly.  His daughters, created in His image, paid for by the sinless blood of his Son. Called to walk with him, daily. To move among the brokenness of this world, as his witnesses, speaking the truth of his Word that makes all things new and right again. It is marvelous. Even as I write this, I am in awe of him. I have to live out his purposes and plans because nothing else will fill me to the brim like he does. I can't not be on mission with him. It doesn't sit well with my spirit.

Each of us has been created with abilities, personalities and passions intentionally. It’s not an accident that you love to paint, write, sing, craft, organize, teach, observe, heal, or whatever it is that you love to do. Some of you are very gifted and passionate about arguing your point. How is that a gift and a calling? Because there are those who need someone to speak for them. To argue and advocate on their behalf. They need you and your passion for justice, fairness and truth to help them discover where true freedom can be found.

I love what Emily Freeman says in her book “A Million Little Ways”:

Your childhood dream delights God. I don’t say that because every secret dream will come true. But having a dream is evidence of a person who is fully alive. Having a dream is a reflection of the image of God.”

The daughter I mentioned above is still as tenacious about learning now as she was in that story seven years ago. I am aware that God has created my daughter with this personality, dreams, desires and a whole lot of determination for a purpose that he had planned before she was even born. So, I smile and listen as she spouts off random facts that I really could not care less about, because I truly believe she is called according to God’s purpose. What's more, I get to do the good work of showing up, listening to her heart and guiding her in the right direction. 

At the same time, I cannot ignore the longings in my own heart, though I can’t always see God's purposes as clearly for myself as I can for my children. I talked for years about writing a blog before I actually did it. I was afraid that I would put my whole heart out in the blog world, and it would be laughed at, trampled on, or worse, ignored and useless. And so I continued to neglect the fire that was in my belly every time I sat down to write in my journal, hoping it would burn out and die. I continued to laugh at myself for writing in my head while I shampooed my hair. I kept telling myself that there are so many talented writers out there, I really have nothing to say or contribute. For awhile, I convinced myself that I could ignore the desire to write. But, God doesn’t let us ignore his call for long. The Holy Spirit kept nudging me, whispering for me to “write that down”. So I have journals full of writing from over the years. Yet, it wasn’t until my husband handed me his laptop and said, “Here. This is your website. It’s ready for your first article.” Gulp…that I knew it was time for me to share. There were no more excuses and I was afraid (still am BTW). 

I tell you all of this about me because I want you to think deeply for a moment. What is it that God is calling you to do? How has he gifted you for the sake of helping others? Who has he put around you that needs to see a true expression of the God who loves them so much? Where can you live out your gifting? When is the right time to finally share as only you can?

We are all called and gifted (let 1 Corinthians 12 rock your world for a bit). You are not an exception. Don’t think that you can slide by and do nothing with what you’ve been given. Stop comparing your gift with someone else’s gift. God created you, as you are, to fulfill his purpose and it may not look the same as hers-so what? You do you and don’t worry about her and what she’s doing. She is free to do what she is created to do and you are free to do what you have been created to do. You are called to live out God’s mission in this world as you, created new in Christ Jesus, in the image of God, to express the truth of God in a world that desperately needs him. You are a messenger. If you think you can run and hide from the work God has for you to do, I recommend spending some time reading the book of Jonah. Your choice is to run from God’s mission, or obey. 

What will you do? 

What fears are keeping you hidden? What dreams have you ignored or run away from? What excuses keep you from declaring the good things God is doing in your heart? Can you see the new things that God is doing in and around you? Can you see how He desires for you to love Him in a way that makes Him known? Maybe he’s calling you to go around the world or to stay home and teach and train your own tribe. Maybe he is simply calling you to talk to that other mom at your kid’s school and share God's love with her. But don’t think for a moment that he’s not calling you somewhere to do something for his kingdom. 

My prayer for you and me today is that we will steward all the gifts God has given us for his purpose and mission in this world. May we be disciples who make disciples. May we find ourselves incapable of hiding. May we become salt, adding the flavor of grace and hope to people within our sphere of influence. May our lives be a canvas where the Good News of Jesus Christ will be seen by everyone who looks our way. I pray that today the perfect love of God would cast out all fear. May we, by the grace of God, go…may we go out into the world and make art, or food, or clothes. May we go educate our children, or a room full of someone else’s. May we go plant a garden that nourishes physical bodies, or plant a church that nourishes the soul. May we go paint a wall, design a spreadsheet, argue our client’s case or treat our patients in such a way that the truth of who God is and what he has done will be heard and seen by all. Wherever we go, whether it's to Uganda, or to WalMart, let’s go with the confidence that we know who we are, we know what we are supposed to do, and that all of it will bring good to others, joy to our hearts and glory to our good and faithful Father!

And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.” Mark 16:15

Meh...Stewardship Part 2

I looked at my daughter’s math worksheet and sighed. I had walked away 10 minutes earlier after giving her instruction and returned to check on her progress. Her page was covered, not with solutions to the problems but with doodles. Hearts, stars, rainbows and stick figures riding stick horses. 

“Sweetheart,” I said with patience I did not feel, “you just spent 10 minutes doodling. You could have finished this page already. I know you understand what to do-right?”

“Meh,” she replied with a sheepish grin. “I just want to draw.”

“I understand, but I told you it’s time to do math and you did not obey. Once you finish your math then you can spend the rest of the day drawing if you want. This," I held up her paper, "was a foolish way to spend you time, and it got you into trouble.”

And there in this moment of parenting, I spoke aloud my biggest issue with time management. Foolish spending that gets me into trouble.

Last week, I talked about how fear has a way of dictating how we spend our time. I mentioned how fear of saying no to others is a big issue for me, as I lean towards fearing man more than I fear God. But, my reoccuring downfall is most often foolish wasting of time. Maybe this isn’t a problem for you. Maybe you spend every minute of every day finding something productive to do. That’s my husband. If he doesn’t finish the day knowing that he squeezed every last bit of productivity out of the day, he is frustrated. I on the other hand kind of shrug and say, “Meh. I can always do that tomorrow.” 

Procrastination is the fuel that keeps me wasting time with things that don't matter. For instance, say I sat down to write this post, and then suddenly (and hypothetically - wink, wink) had the urge to google how tall the Effiel Tower is (984 feet, in case you, too, desperately needed to know) Sigh...

What is foolishness? It is the absence of wisdom. Sometimes it leads to sin (more on that in a minute), but sometimes it’s just something that has no benefit. It’s not sinful, it’s just wasteful. For me, this includes things like binge watching TV, sleeping too much or not enough, junking out on food that I know will make me feel icky and sluggish, and, like I talked about in the last post, saying yes to everything and not giving my family space on the calendar to rest and be together. It’s just foolish. All of these things boil down to making wise decisions with my time and sometimes I really lack wisdom. More than I’d like to admit, I find myself saying things like, “If only I had not done __________, I would be able to do __________.” Usually when me, myself and I start having that conversation, I know I have made a foolish decision with my time. 

God’s Word has a lot to say about wisdom:

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.   James 1:5

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.   Psalm 90:12

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.  Proverbs 1:7

…for wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.  Proverbs 8:11

Ah, I love that last one. Nothing we could desire can compare with wisdom. And we do desire many things don’t we?

And this is where foolishness takes us beyond just wasteful to all out sinful.

When I foolishly indulge my appetites, I am left feeling depleted, empty and dissatisfied with my life. My sinful nature then starts to try to fill that emptiness with other things...the Bible calls these other things idols. But, when I pray for wisdom, and by God’s grace follow his purposes, I am filled with him. When we are filled with God, we don’t create for ourselves other idols (Colossians 2:8-10). We are full. 

The wise writer and theologian, C.S. Lewis said it this way,

“If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”  The Weight of Glory

On our last family vacation, we hiked up to a waterfall in the Rocky Mountains. Not once on that hike did I regret that I was not spending that time watching TV, or taking a nap, or browsing social media. If we are going to be good stewards of our time, we have to be willing to say no to the foolish things that steal beautiful, life-giving moments. We have to stop being satisfied with mud pies in the slums of a life spent chasing mediocre pleasures and go see what it’s like to build sand castles on the beach of a life that is chasing the purposes of God. The more we experience satisfaction in Christ, the less satisfied we will be with our sin.

My prayer for us today, is that we would not be enslaved to the fear of other’s opinions, our own bad habits, or the sin we are holding on to. I pray that we will have the courage and wisdom to say no to the unnecessary things so that we can say yes to the things of God. May we be found faithful stewards with the time God has given us on this earth, mindful that our time is now and we must not waste it. 

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do...But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.    Galatians 5:16-25

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we are imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.    1 Corinthians 9:24-27