Feeding Babies

Ask any momma what stresses her out the most about motherhood and many would probably say - feeding babies. There are numerous articles and recipes online about kids and food. Occasionally there is some fun to be had with kids and food-like when they want to start feeding themselves. Get your camera ready, Momma! Baby is about to give you some great shots for Instagram! 

The first time my 8-month-old demanded that I let her feed herself (read demanded as “she grabbed the spoon out of my hand every time I tried to put it in her mouth”…Every. Time.) I fought her on it, thinking, “Oh no way! You will have this stuff everywhere.” But she wore me down, which had been her way since birth when she refused to nurse. I gave in and let her have at it. Yep. It was everywhere. The wall, the curtains, the floor, the back of the chair, her hair, my hair…everywhere. It was a wretched mess that I had to clean up after every meal. 

By the fourth child though, I had learned to hand the spoon to my kids ASAP because I needed those babies to be independent. I didn’t even care where the food went as long as some of it got in her belly. I’m not sure I took any pictures because by kid four, who has time for pictures during dinner? At that point, I was just trying to get everyone to sit at the table together for at least 30 seconds like normal people. “Just be normal!” I would yell and then realize they were all now quietly staring at the crazy lady with dried applesauce from lunch still in her hair. 

Dinnertime is a beast, isn’t it? And it comes around everyday with desperate cries of starving children acting like I haven’t fed them in days. I mean, really y’all! My life revolves around shopping for, buying, storing, prepping, cooking and cleaning up food. And we won’t even go into the insane rabbit hole of healthy eating that I fell into because…well, nobody needs that kind of negativity in their life. My new motto is “Be happy. Eat ice cream.”

On days when I have lots of energy and feel inspired, I cook a feast. The other 364 days of the year, I try to pull it together in a rush at the last minute. Either way, a few bites are taken, a few bites are forced to be taken, and then everyone is excused. It really doesn’t seem to matter how good the food is, or how much time I put into planning and preparing. Kids just eat how much they want and move on. Like locusts, really. Ew.

But there are lessons about the dinner table that are changing my understanding of feeding my kids. There is a spirituality to food that really requires more attention than I usually give it. For most of my mothering years, eating has been about nutrition, which has led to lots of arguing about eating greens and trying to get “just one more bite” into my babies bellies. And guilt! Oh, so much guilt!

Lately, however, dinnertime has shifted in our house. Maybe it’s because the babies are not really babies anymore. Maybe it’s because I have just a bit more energy to give toward meals than I have in the past. I can’t tell you for sure what has shifted other than my understanding that food isn’t just about eating. 

I know this shift began when I read this quote from Sally Clarkson’s book The Life-giving Table:

When we sit at our tables, we’re not just an aggregate of individual family members eating and drinking to stay alive; we’re a congregation of communing souls hungering and thirsting to experience the goodness and beauty of the life God has designed just for us.

Full disclosure - I often endure dinnertime, anxious for it to be over because I am exhausted from the day and ready to get those monkeys of mine in bed so I can sit quietly with my husband and a glass of wine. But, as I have contemplated the spiritual connection between our food and our souls, there has been a very slight shift in my attitude (very slight).

Dinnertime is gradually becoming more about conversation and communion with each other. It has become a time of reconnecting with each other after time apart at work, school and other activities. I have found that as we have intentionally started conversations at the dinner table, the kids have been a little slower to run off when they are done eating. It’s almost like they enjoy sitting at the table and talking to us. And, to my surprise, I sometimes really enjoy hanging out and talking to my kids during and after dinner! 

This, I have discovered, is where the real feasting happens. As we discuss different topics and events from the day, my daughters are sharing their hearts a little bit more each time. They share their thoughts, ideas and opinions more freely than they have in the past. This excites me, because I’ve come to realize that when I take time to listen to their hearts, they are more open to listening to what I have to say, as well. When we give our attention to listening to our children’s hearts, we are better prepared to offer them the truth of the Gospel in a way that means something to them because we’ve really heard what’s going on in their minds and hearts. 

I have been guilty in the past of trying to force bites of the Gospel into my children’s hearts like the Brussels sprouts they really don’t want to eat (actually, I hate Brussels sprouts too, so they never show up on our table). Yet, that’s not how God has fed our souls. Rather than forcing the Gospel down our throats, he invites us to “work…for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you” (John 6:27). He has set the table for our souls through the work of Jesus and invites us to join. He does not force anyone to take a seat, but instead invites us as a generous host would invite guests to a fancy dinner. Those who make excuses as to why they cannot come will sorrowfully miss out (Luke 14:15-24). 

I don’t want my babies to miss out! But I cannot force them to take a seat. I must trust the work of the Father in their hearts. He is the one who draws them to Christ (John 6:44; 65-66). I know his desire for them to come to him is greater than mine. He is the one who works in our hearts and grows our relationships for the purpose of his Gospel, so I must trust him.

So, what’s an anxious Momma to do as she watches and waits for her children’s hearts to be drawn to God? 

She prays and sets the table. She prays daily for the souls of her children to be drawn to the feasting that leads to eternal life. She faithfully sets the table with stories of truth that both little and big ones will not be able to resist listening to. She daily invites them to willingly take a seat at the table, and partake of his goodness and mercy. And when they refuse the invitaion, she faithfully tries again the next day. 

That is our prayer for our children, but it is also a prayer for ourselves. My youngest loves avocados, because I love avocados. She watched me enjoy eating them and just had to give them a try. Sweet Momma, we cannot feed our children bread that we don’t have. We must first “taste and see” so that our children can know that God is true and good (Psalm 34:8). We must commit to daily sitting at the table with Christ, and feasting on the Gospel for ourselves. When our children see that we are filled and satisfied with God, they will want to know him, too. That is why I continue to write here. I long for mommas to encounter the Gospel for themselves and then share it with their children. I believe this is the most important work we as mothers have to do. We cannot be lazy and distracted disciples. We must focus our hearts and minds on the bread of life, or we and our children will spiritually starve to death. Stay faithful to your calling, Momma! Share what you know about Jesus with your children, search to understand what you don’t know, and be filled with the sustaining bread of life that He is!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it is the dinner-witching hour and the natives are getting restless for their food...

They said to him, "Sir, give us this bread always." Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst...All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out."    John 6:34-37

On this mountain the LORD of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine, of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined. And he will swallow up on this mountain the covering that is cast over all peoples, the veil that is spread over all nations. He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the LORD has spoken. It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”        Isaiah 25:6-9

There are many who say, "Who will show us some good? Lift up the light of your face upon us, O LORD!" You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.            Psalm 4:6-8

And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”  Revelation 19:9

For further encouragement, study John 6:22-71; John 3:26-36; 1 Corinthians 11:23-32 

If I'm Being Honest...

Seriously. For real though. Just saying. If I’m being honest. Honestly though…being honest is sometimes hard. Not necessarily in the “Hey, I stole all of your money,” kind of honesty (although if stealing is an issue for you, you might want to deal with that) but more in the “This is who I am, and it’s not pretty” kind of way. 

I have a child, who shall remain nameless, who struggles to be honest when she get’s called out. She is always very quick to have a reason why she did what she did. And, oh my, is she convincing. I can’t always tell if she’s speaking truth or not. I suspect she get’s away with a lot more than I realize. 

I think we adults get away with more than we realize, too…or so we think. We would probably all say that we are honest people, as in we aren’t stealing other people’s money, but there is a level of honesty that is often absent from our lives. 

When faced with admitting that we are not as good as we would like others to think we are, we are pretty quick to have a reason why we are the way we are. It usually sounds more like, 

“Well, I misunderstood what was said,” no we didn’t.

“Well, my calendar was already filled up,” no it wasn’t.

“Well, we had some unexpected expenses,” nope. 

“Well, my dad never hugged me,” sorry ‘bout that…but still not ok. 

“Well, at least I’m not as bad as that guy,” um…yeah we are. 

That last one is probably our favorite. At least we aren’t as ___________________ as that guy (fill in that blank with whatever floats your boat…lazy, sleezy, self-centered, ugly…whatever).

We have to ask ourselves the same question we ask our kids when they lie to us. Why do we lie? My kids usually answer that question with a shrug. We probably would too.

I would like to suggest that the reason we lie is simply that we are trying to appear more righteous than we actually are. We don’t want people to know how badly we need to be saved, so we point out the reasons why we are the way we are, as though that makes it ok. We compare ourselves to those who seem less righteous than us so that we don’t look so bad. Psychologists call this deflecting (doesn’t sound so bad). God calls it lying (oops-that sounds bad). 

But hey, we aren’t the only one’s who do this. It is, after all, not our fault that we do this. It’s really Adam and Eve’s fault (see what I did there? I might be a deflecting master *pats herself on the back). They’re the ones who messed up first and ruined all of us in the process. And what did they do? Lied…uh…I mean deflected. Adam said, “Hey, it was the woman who did it.” Eve said, “Hey, the devil made me do it.” Hmmm…sorta true, but if we’re being honest, they are all responsible for what happened. 

What is it that I want to teach my children? To own up. To admit that they’ve done wrong. To stop trying to spin the truth to make it seem better than it really is. To confess that they need forgiveness. I suspect God wants the grown ups to learn the same thing. 

This isn’t easy. In fact, it’s humiliating. I don’t like admitting that I am wrong. I love the feeling of being right. I enjoy reveling in the satisfaction that I’m doing better than everyone around me…oh, dear. 

There is a lovely little story in the Bible that I read this week about a married couple who had an issue with self-righteousness (Acts 5:1-11). There names were Ananias and Sapphira. They waltzed into church one day claiming to be very generous by giving all of the proceeds of a property they had sold to the church to help those in need. They were lying. They kept some of the money for themselves. It didn’t end well for them. They stopped breathing and dropped dead where they stood, right there in front of the disciples. Was the issue that they didn’t give all of their money? No. Peter makes it clear that wasn’t the issue (vs. 4). The issue was they lied about their generosity. They lied to God. After all Jesus had done to cover them with his righteousness, they were still trying to cover themselves with their own righteousness. Like Adam and Eve’s inadequate fig leaves, they pretended they had their sin under control apart from Christ and were able to be good people all by themselves. Does this sound familiar to you? It does to me. 

I would always rather that people thought well of me. I want everyone to be my friend and think I’m a nice gal. I want to appear to have my junk well hidden and under control. Milton Vincent’s words remind me of the truth,

“The Cross also exposes me before the eyes of other people, informing them of the depth of my depravity. If I wanted others to think highly of me, I would conceal the fact that a shameful slaughter of the perfect Son of God was required that I might be saved. But when I stand at the the foot of the Cross and am seen by others under the light of that Cross, I am left uncomfortably exposed before their eyes. Indeed, the most humiliating gossip that could ever be whispered about me is blared form Golgotha’s hill; and my self-righteous reputation is left in ruins in the wake of it’s revelations. With the worst facts about me thus exposed to the view of others, I find myself feeling that I truly have nothing left to hide.”

So there it is, Friends. My sin required the “shameful slaughter of the perfect Son of God”. I have no way to spin that truth to make it sound better or less humiliating. I am exposed by the truth of the Gospel. 

But that’s not all…

I am also covered by the truth of the Gospel. Sound like a contradiction? Let's see. While Jesus’ work on the cross exposes me for who I am, it also covers me with his righteousness. It exchanges my wretched, wicked heart for a completely new one. I am no longer humiliated by my sin, because Jesus has taken my humiliation on himself and I can now be clothed in his righteousness.

I no longer need to try to spin the truth to appear more righteous, but rather allow the truth to be revealed so that I can be known for who I am now…a child of God, fully clothed in Jesus’ righteousness. That sounds so much better than any lie or self-righteous behavior I could try to cover up with. 

This is the truth we must accept for ourselves if we are to share it with our children. How do we do this? By being honest. For real though. Seriously. One the best ways to teach our children how to confess sin is by modeling confession for them. When we make mistakes as parents, which we all do, we have a beautiful opportunity to demonstrate repentance by actually speaking the truth to our children. This means saying, “Mommy messed up. I shouldn’t have done/said that. Will you please forgive me?” We must resist the urge to excuse our behavior just because we are the grown ups, like we somehow don’t have to abide by the same standard we are setting for our children. It’s important for our children to understand that “None is righteous, no not one” (Romans 3:10) even Mom and Dad. 

My prayer for you and me today, is that we will resist the urge to lie about who we are. I pray that our hearts will be transformed by the truth, and that truth will set us free from our feeble attempts at self-righteousness. I pray that we will model repentance faithfully for our children, so that they too can learn to trust in Jesus and his righteousness alone.  

The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.   2 Timothy 1:15-16

For the word of God is living and active, sharper that any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.  Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.   Hebrews 4:12-13

One of Those Days

Ever had one of those days? 

You know what I mean, don't you? One of those days when everything you had planned falls through. A child wakes up with a fever, the coffee maker breaks mid-brew, the pre-teen wakes up with hormone-induced attitude, you realize you forgot to move the towels from the washing machine to the dryer last night before bed, the dog chewed up one of your favorite pairs of shoes, and oh yeah, it's pouring down torrential rain all day. One of those days. 

We all have them, but we are mothers, so we suck it up and keep going. Sure, we would like to throw in the towel just for today (but, remember the towels are still wet and a little sour by now.)

Well, this post is for "one of those days". Remember two things, fellow Momma:

1. Motherhood does not define you. It may describe what you do everyday and who you are to a few people, but it is not your identity. You are an image-bearer of God. Yes, I know trudging through a rough Monday doesn't have all the feels of "image-bearer of God", but none-the-less, that's who you are. (Gen. 1:26-27; Rom. 8:29)

2. Because you are an image-bearer of God, today does not get the final word. Some days are good, some are not. Bad days don't mean we are failures, likewise, good days don't mean we are successful. If we try to ride the ups and downs of our everyday life, we will be in a constant state of insecurity. We won't know who we are and what we are supposed to be doing. (Luke 9:57-62)

The security of who we are and what we are doing with our life is in God's hands. When we delight in him and subject our plans to his purposes-he secures our steps (Psalm 37:23; Proverbs 16:9). Today, is just one day. It will soon be over and, Lord willing, another one will begin. So before we get too down in the dumps, or high in the sky, let's remember that it is the one who keeps getting back up day after day that is called righteous (Proverbs 24:16). Whether today is a success or a failure, we are called to be faithful to the task at hand. Winning doesn't mean we get to sit down and be done, and failing doesn't mean we throw in the sour towel and quit. We keep moving forward knowing that all things are held together by our Father, and come sunny skies or monsoons, we will be okay, because we belong to him. 

My prayer for you and me today, is that we will not be tossed from one emotional high to the other. I pray that we will dig deep into the foundation of Christ, the solid rock on which we stand. I pray that whether all things are in our favor, or the odds are stacked against us, that we will look to author and finisher of our faith. May we remember that the race is not won until it is finished, and may we press on to the high calling of sharing daily with our children and our community, the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Bothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.              Philippians 3:12-14

For further encouragement, study Colossians 1.